The best way to conquer an objection is through a simple three-letter word, the question “Why?” When someone says, “I am not ready,” don't second-guess his reason. Instead, do what a psychologist does. Many folks are willing to pay a psychologist a hundred bucks an hour just so he can ask, “Why do you feel this way?” The psychologist asks, “Why?” because he doesn't presume to know until he's been told.
The “Why Principle” will work for us. Never assume you know the reason why a person is not ready to accept Christ. Instead, ask, “Why?” It is the only way to get your friend to burp up his real issues.
Here's how it works:
You: |
Are you ready to invite Jesus Christ into your life? |
Friend: |
No. |
You: |
Why? |
Friend: |
I'm not ready. |
You: |
Why? |
Now that you've asked “Why?” your friend may come up with the real issue. For example, he may say, “My wife will leave me,” “I like to party,” or “I'll lose my friends.” These are issues you can deal with once you know what they are. Plus, when your friend voices his real reason aloud, it may sound dumb, even to him.
I remember a time the “Why Principle” worked in this way. I was talking with a man who said, “I am not ready to receive Jesus Christ.” I asked, “Why?”
He made some confusing remarks about his business affairs, and when he finished speaking, he looked at me and said, “That doesn't make any sense, does it?”
I said, “Nope. Are you ready to give your life to Christ?” He was and he did!
Once you discover your friend's real objection, never fall into the temptation to argue. Don't be motivated by a desire to be right or to prove him wrong. Instead, be motivated to share Jesus in love. As the saying goes, “It is impossible to express love with a clenched fist or stinging arguments.” So remember to stay cool; ask, “Why?”; and listen to your friend's objections. This is one of the best ways you can demonstrate your love for him as well as for God.
The Most Common Objections
In this section, you will find a discussion of the responses to thirty-six of the most common objections I've heard. Don't worry about memorizing these responses; instead, read and study them so you'll be prepared. Scripture says, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (1 Pet. 3:15).
The following is a list of the ten most common of these thirty-six objections. The number printed at the end of each objection is the location of its corresponding response in this chapter as well as in appendix 3.
The following thirty-six objections and their responses are listed in alphabetical order. For a complete list of all thirty-six objections, as well as thirty-six quick reference response scripts, see appendix 3.
1. A Christian hurt me.
Jeannie said, “All the Christians I know are rude and are in my face trying to convert me. When I don't respond the way they want, it ruins our friendship. I feel they look down on me.”
When I hear something like this, I say, “I'm so sorry that happened. Would you accept my apology for those who did that to you?”
Please notice, I have no way to know if her perception is valid, but that doesn't matter because to her it's real. So, when I get below the surface to her hurt, I say, “I am so sorry if your father was a legalist or some Christian was angry and shoved the gospel in your face. I would like to apologize for them. Jesus would not have wanted that to have happened to you.”
I sometimes say to Jeannie or someone like her, “Have you ever tried to love somebody and made a mess out of it? You had good intentions, but everything went wrong. Do you think there was a possibility in your friend's desire for you to know Jesus that she just went about it the wrong way?”
Do you notice I always ask questions? I never argue. Also, when you give someone permission to be hostile, the hostility will go away. She may say, “You may be right about my friend, but some Christians seem so narrow and angry.”
“You know,” I say, “you and Jesus are already in agreement on one thing. He doesn't like that behavior either. By the way, what is your understanding of who Jesus is?”
2. Cults are the answer?
Cult members are easy to spot because they deny the deity of Jesus Christ, plus they teach that you have to earn salvation. Still, it can be hard to discern what they believe because they often engage in double talk. That means they assign alternate meanings to Christian terminology to gain your trust.
When you do meet someone who is involved in a cult, don't try to start a debate. Ask the direct question, “If what you are believing is not true, would you want to know?”
One morning, as I was getting ready to go out, I saw a lady with a briefcase and a ten-year-old boy standing at my door. I knew immediately they were Jehovah's Witnesses. I was running late, but I didn't want to miss an opportunity to share.
When I answered the door, the woman said, “Hello, I'm from the Watchtower.”
I said, “If what you believe is not true, would you want to know?”
“What I believe is true, and I'm here to give you that truth.”
I asked again. “If what you are believing is not true, would you want to know it?”
“I know the truth.”
It took twelve tries before she finally admitted, “Yes, I do want to know.”
She's visited me twice so far, and I'm still sharing with her.
Another question I ask is, “Who is Jesus Christ?”
Usually the cult member responds, “He was a good teacher.”
I ask, “Do good teachers lie?”
“Good ones don't.”
“Isn't it interesting that Jesus said he was God?”
At the back of my Bible, I list the references of several Scriptures that point to Christ's deity. I open my Bible and show them. It would be a good idea to reference these Scriptures in the back of your Bible as well:
I also take cult members to a couple of verses that demonstrate how Jesus allowed worship of himself.
Next I ask, “Did Jesus ever sin? No? You are right. He never sinned in either thought or deed.”
I tell the cult member, “He is the sin bearer for you and for me. He taught us to worship the Lord God only. Why did Jesus allow worship of himself unless he never sinned?”
I also ask, “Who can forgive sin but God alone? If Jesus were not God, how could he forgive sin and not sin himself?”
Even in the face of this evidence, some cult members may struggle with Jesus being both God and the Son of God. The fact is that the Bible calls the Father “God,” it calls the Son “God,” and it calls the Spirit “God.” Jesus claimed oneness with the Father in that both are God, yet they are distinct. The Father, Son, and Spirit are distinct Persons, yet they are one God. No illustration really works, but a favorite of mine is that ice, steam, and water are all water. The difference is that the one God is three distinct Persons at the same time.
Linda reports, “At this explanation, I could see a small light blink on. They didn't respond, but I pray that they will someday be open to the gospel.”
If I can get a concession that Jesus is God, then we are off and running with the “Share Jesus Presentation.” You may also want to see the Scripture references under objection 17, “I'm not good enough,” to complete the presentation.
Often, when cult members knock at your door, they come in teams of two adults, one senior and one junior. The junior is most likely in training. I always focus on the junior. At the end of our time together, I give both members my phone number. That way, if the senior wants to talk to me later, in private, he can call me, as can the junior.
Also, note that Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to pray with you or take your literature because they consider you an infidel. When I invite them and other cult members to sit with me, I say, “Whenever I open my Bible, I always pray first.” Then I bow my head and pray out the entire gospel. Their eyes may be open, but so are their ears. In this way I can present the gospel in its entirety without interruption.
Even if you are not an expert on what a particular cult believes, you can be most effective when you share your testimony and gently point to the fact Jesus is Lord. But remember, we are a body, and God has created different gifts within the body. You may simply be the qualifier or the one who initiates the conversation with questions and Scriptures. If you get “stuck,” don't be afraid to ask a friend, pastor, or “expert” for help. You may be giving him a chance to exercise his gift in leading cult members to the Lord. I have done this myself with wonderful results.
3. God cannot forgive me.
Often I hear, “God cannot forgive me.”
When I hear this objection, I turn to Romans 10:13, “‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved,’” and ask the person I'm sharing with to read it aloud.
I can remember sitting in a booth with a man in a restaurant who said, “God can't possibly forgive me for all I have done. I've ruined my family, my life, and hurt so many people.”
I turned to Romans 10:13 and said, “Read it out loud.”
He did. I asked, “What does it say to you?”
He started to tremble.
“Look,” I said, “does it say God will forgive a repentant murderer?”
“Yes.”
“Will he forgive a bank robber?”
“Yes.”
“Can he forgive a man who trashed his marriage and hurt other people?”
To my surprise, this man shouted, “I can be forgiven!” Then he put his head on the table and wept. A few moments later, we held hands while he prayed the sinner's prayer, asking God to forgive him of all his sins and asking Christ into his life.
4. How can a loving God send someone to hell?
Our culture often does not have a sensitivity to what sin is because moral absolutes are seldom taught in school. Somehow, we have become convinced God will not send someone to hell. That is the easiest thing in all of Scripture to prove wrong. We begin by looking at the cross. The cross demonstrates the love of God, a love that nailed Jesus to the cross for the sins of the world. This one selfless act demonstrates the depth of God's perfect love in order to reconcile man to himself.
But we also need to talk about the other message of the cross, the perfect justice of God. You see, Jesus Christ never committed a sin in thought, word, or deed. Yet on the cross, Jesus became the sin bearer. Psalms says Christ would cry out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?” (Ps. 22:1).
This Scripture tells us that when Jesus Christ became our sin bearer, God turned his back on him. God heaped all of his waves of wrath upon his own Son. This is a picture of God's perfect justice. Even one sin separates us from God—no exception. This is why Jesus died in our place. If this were not the case, don't you think that God would have spared his own Son?
5. How can I know the Bible is true?
As we have discussed in an earlier chapter, God has promised us not one crossed t or dotted i has come about by the will of man.
I spend a lot of time evangelizing the staff in a certain restaurant chain in my area. I remember one day a nonbelieving waiter named Danny saw me as I was seated at my table. Danny dropped by and said, “Bill, we have a new guy I'd like you to meet. His name is Art, and he likes statistics.”
I chuckled. “Go get him.”
So there was Danny, a nonbeliever, bringing another nonbeliever to my table as if he's delivering a pizza, just so I could share the gospel. What a sense of humor God has!
Soon Art, a six-foot-six-inch guy with Coke-bottle glasses, walked over. I decided to put a question into a conversation to see if God was at work. I said, “Art, I understand you like statistics.”
“Yes.”
“What is a penny doubled every day, for thirty days?”
Art spouted off, “It starts at 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, until you get $10,737,418.24.”
I was impressed! I said, “That seemed easy for you. Let me ask you another question. How many people would it take flipping a quarter before one person hits heads thirty times in a row?”
Art ran into the kitchen. When he came back, he said it would take billions of people flipping quarters before one person hit heads thirty times in a row. Art's right. According to Ripley's Believe It or Not! Strange Coincidences,1 for a tossed coin to fall to heads fifty times in a row would require one million men tossing ten coins a minute for forty hours a week—and then it would occur only once in every nine centuries.
With this probability established, I was ready to make the switch. I said, “That is why I believe the Bible is true. If you take the thirty prophecies about the birth, the death, and the resurrection of Jesus that have come true, that's like flipping heads thirty times in a row.”
Art froze. I said, “I don't want to take time away from your work, but as you go back to your station today, think about this: how many people would it take flipping a quarter before one person hits heads 245 times? I picked that number because it is a conservative estimate of the number of biblical prophecies that were supposed to come true that have come true.”
Stunned, Art asked, “Can we make an appointment?”
“I'd be glad to.”
I'm happy to say, a few days later I met with Art, and the angels rejoiced at his decision to follow Christ.
The other day I asked a friend what the odds were of 245 prophecies coming true. He said, “Bill, the odds would be a billion to one.” To me that figures to a God who is sovereign and powerful with infinity behind him.
6. How do I know I have enough faith?
When someone tells me he is afraid he doesn't have enough faith to receive Christ as his Savior, I smile and say, “If you have enough faith to ask Christ to come into your heart, you have enough faith to receive him into your heart. Imagine Moses. As he led his people out of Egypt, he met a pretty big roadblock—the Red Sea. As Pharaoh's army closed in on Moses and the tribes of Israel, God directed him to cross the sea. Moses stood on the shore, wondering if he had enough faith. It wasn't until he put his foot in the water that the sea parted. God will honor your first step. If you really want to know Jesus as Lord, take the first step and ask him into your heart.”
7. I can't live the Christian lifestyle.
At this I say, “I am so glad you understand a change is required. But unlike the past, you are not going to have to change alone. The Bible says in Philippians 4:13, ‘I can do everything through him who gives me strength.’
“God wants your ‘want to,’ not your ability. He wants your desire. Are you desiring now to follow Jesus Christ as your Lord?”
If your friend says yes, it is time for the sinner's prayer.
8. I don't believe in God.
This objection usually comes up only at the beginning of the “Share Jesus Presentation.” When it does, I ask, “May I show you the Scriptures that changed my life?” I like to show the Scriptures because I find the Holy Spirit often moves their hearts to belief.
Yet sometimes this question will surface at the end of the presentation. When it does, I say, “If you became convinced that God existed, would you be willing to give your life to him?”
If the person answers yes, I ask, “Would you be willing to ask a nonexistent God to help you in your unbelief?”
We pray together, “God, if you are real, help me to believe.”
I tell him to see what happens in the next week or month. We set a date to meet again in a few weeks. While I'm waiting for the meeting, I pray for truth to be revealed in his life.
This reminds me of the time a few years ago when I was being interviewed by a Colorado Springs newspaper, and the reporter, Mr. Gray, wanted to do an article about my life before I met Christ. He was fascinated by the fact that I was visiting jails and prisons and sharing my faith instead of being locked up in one.
Mr. Gray took me into a big boardroom, just the two of us, and we were seated in overstuffed leather chairs. I had brought my big Bible along because if he took my picture, I wanted the cross on my Bible to show what had changed my life.
Mr. Gray said, “Let's get something straight, Mr. Fay. I don't believe in God, so don't even try to convert me.”
I smiled. “I couldn't convert you if I wanted.”
He picked up his pen. “By the way, how do you convert people?”
It was all I could do to keep from laughing because I knew I was watching my Father at work. I said, “I generally ask five questions.”
“What are the questions?”
When I got about halfway through, he stopped me and said, “You're trying to convert me.”
So I stopped asking the “Share Jesus Questions” and proceeded with the interview. He grilled me for an hour and a half. As the interview wound down, I felt it was my chance to get even. With my most pleasant expression, I said, “May I have permission to show you the seven verses of Scripture that changed my life?”
Notice I did not barge ahead; I asked permission. Mr. Gray had to be a real stinker to say no to my request, considering what he had just put me through. When he said yes, I had him read the Scriptures out loud, then I asked him what they said to him. I watched his facade start to melt as the power of God began to do its work.
He did not accept Christ as his Savior that day, but we still see each other from time to time. The last time I saw him, he said, “I can still remember those verses.” He hasn't yet surrendered his life. But God may not be finished with him. My point is, always be ready to share the Scripture, yet never force the issue.
9. I don't believe the Resurrection took place.
Whenever I find someone who holds this belief, I say, “I'm glad this is your only stumbling block, because one thing God did for us is to provide overwhelming evidence of the Resurrection. In fact, one of the leading legal minds of the country, Dr. Simon Greenleaf, an outstanding professor of law at Harvard University, wrote a volume in which he examined the legal value of the apostles' testimony to the resurrection of Christ.
“Greenleaf concluded that the resurrection of Christ was one of the best supported events in history, according to the laws of legal evidence administered in courts of justice.”2
Did you know Jeremiah 29:13 says, “‘You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart’”? If you want to test your heart right now, why don't you bow your head and pray, “Lord Jesus, if the Resurrection took place, help me in my unbelief.”
Also, see the story in the introduction in chapter 6, “Bring to Decision,” or see response 9 in appendix 3.
10. I want to think about it.
I remember speaking in a church in a tiny town in northern Colorado. The pastor asked me to stand at the back door of the church and greet people on their way out. A farmer approached me. I asked, “How's your morning?”
“Fine.”
“Do you know the Lord?”
“Nope.”
I've got this big guy by the hand. He's pulling to go out the door, and I'm pulling to bring him back.
“Sir, why not?”
“I don't know. I guess I want to think about it.”
“You heard me preach. If you die, where are you going?”
“Hell.”
“Then have a wonderful day, sir.”
A few days later, Floyd was knocking at the pastor's door. He couldn't stand it anymore. The idea of hell had become real to him, and he was ready to give his life to Jesus Christ. The pastor called me to celebrate.
11. I'm a good person.
I love the saying “A man who believes in nothing but himself, lives in a very small world.”
When someone tells me, “I'm a good person,” I politely as possible ask, “By whose standards?”
“What do you mean?”
“Let me give you an example. Have you ever committed murder?”
“No.”
“Let's check it out by God's definition. Have you ever been angry, hated, called someone a fool, or waved someone off on the freeway? Because if you have, by God's standards, you are a murderer.”
Before she catches her breath, I plow ahead, “Have you ever looked at the opposite sex and lusted?”
I don't give her the chance to answer. I say, “By the way, if you say no, I know you are guilty of lying. By God's standards, if you have lusted, you are guilty of adultery. Have you put a relationship, a job, or some activity that you would rather do or have over a relationship with God? Because if you have, those items became your idols.
“Because of the holiness of God, it is impossible to measure up to his standards of perfection. Since God is the judge and the jury, it is his approval we have to meet. In fact, Scripture says, ‘For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it' (James 2:10).
“I want you to know that I, like you, have been guilty as well. The difference is I found forgiveness through Jesus. And that's the forgiveness I am asking you if you want.”
12. I'm a member of another world religion.
Here is an example of how I shared my faith with Lee, a young Japanese Buddhist I met at church. She was in the United States to study English and culture. One Sunday morning, I felt led to share my faith with her, but I wanted to do so with respect and love. So I asked her, “Does truth matter to you?”
“Yes.”
“I know your family and culture have given you a different set of beliefs than my own. Has anyone told you about Christianity?”
“No, but I would like to know about it.”
“Lee, who taught you to tell your first lie?”
“No one.”
There I stopped and told her the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, explained how sin entered into the world, and told her all people have a sin nature.
Surprised, she said, “I have a sin nature too.”
I opened my Bible and had her read me the “Share Jesus Scriptures” out loud. When I got to the third verse, I could see she was beginning to understand. But I wanted to be very careful. When she finished, I said, “Lee, I sense you feel afraid of your family.”
Lee began to cry, and I didn't push her further. But it was a joyous surprise when she was the first person to answer the altar call at the end of the worship service later that morning.
God, in his infinite wisdom, knew Lee was going forward that morning because he had sent another Japanese believer to the service. This sister had prayed about giving away a dress and a Japanese Bible to someone who needed them. As you can guess, Lee found both the dress and Japanese Bible a perfect fit.
13. I'm God.
Today, many people share the belief that they are God, which comes from Eastern religions. I like to ask them, “I could use a new car. Could you create one for me? Surely an all-powerful God such as you could do that.”
Then I recommend they read the following Scriptures aloud. After each Scripture is read, I ask, “What does this say to you?”
You will also want to point out that this Scripture shows that God is God alone. He is not all things; he is the Creator who holds all things together. You can also say, “I am not God, but he is in me. Would you like God to be in you?”
14. I'm having too much fun.
What are you going to say to the person who says, “I'm having too much fun”?
Again, go back to the “Why Principle.” You are going to say, “Why?”
The response will most likely be something like, “I like to party.”
When I get this response, I say something like, “In other words, you are into the party scene—sex, drugs, and rock and roll?”
Usually, the person blushes.
I say, “I have one last question. Let's imagine you reject Jesus Christ today, but this weekend you become a part of the interstate highway. Where does the Bible say you will go?”
(Notice that I always use Scripture. The Bible is my authority, whether he believes it or not.)
He usually whispers, “I will go to hell.”
Then I say, with all the love I can, “Have a nice day and drive carefully.”
These people usually do drive carefully for the next forty-eight hours. But I say this not to only remind them of their mortality; I say this hoping they will let the message of God's love and truth penetrate their heads and hearts. I'm not trying to be judgmental, but to prepare them, in the next few moments, days, weeks, or years, to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
15. I'm Jewish.
When someone says, “I can't believe in Jesus,” I ask, “Why?” For you see, the issue is not whether he can or can't; it's whether he will or won't. For when it comes to the whole issue of who Jesus is, Josh McDowell, the author of More Than a Carpenter, points out the fact that we have only three choices. He says, “Jesus is either Lord, liar, or lunatic.”3
The first thing I do with the Jewish person is to try to find out if he or she is culturally Jewish or religiously Jewish. I ask, “Do you go to synagogue?”
Most of the time, I get a no for an answer. Then I say, “I believe Jesus is the Christ, who he claimed to be. I know he is not a liar because he never sinned. He's obviously not a lunatic because his life and teachings show he was brilliant, stable, and loving toward others. Therefore, I can only believe that he is Lord. For in his own words, ‘I and the Father are one' (John 10:30).
“Also, the Jews of the day clearly knew who Jesus claimed to be because when he said in John 8:58, ‘Before Abraham was born, I am!' they picked up stones to kill him.”
The Jews knew he was quoting God to Moses, when God said, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you’” (Exod. 3:14).
I like to point out Christ's identity. It is a great way to take this big issue and turn it into a smaller denominator. For if we can establish that Jesus is truly Jehovah God, the rest comes easy.
If I meet a Jewish person who is religiously Jewish, the first thing I do is remind him that Judaism is the root of my Christianity. Of course, the difficult points for Jews are first, believing Jesus is the Messiah, and second, that he rose from the dead. I say, “If either of these points were true, would you consider having a personal relationship with Jesus to complete your Jewishness?”
Often, I invite the Jewish person to visit a messianic congregation. This way, the worship will seem familiar, and he will hear the testimony of other Jewish people who found Jesus to be the true Messiah.
Remember when I asked my friend if he went to synagogue anywhere? That's because I want to make a distinction as to whether I am talking with a cultural Jew or a practicing Jew. If I am talking to a practicing Jew, I continue the presentation at this point by asking, “Have you ever wondered about the fact that Jesus claimed to be God?”
Then I take him to Isaiah 53 and have him read verses 1–12 aloud.
Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.
I ask him, “Who do you think this describes?”
I also ask, “Why do you think many synagogues refuse to read this chapter of Isaiah?”
Then I ask another question that is difficult yet thought provoking: “Do you know why the sacrifices have stopped in the temple?” I wait for his answer, then continue, “Could it be because Jesus is God's sacrificial lamb?”
I don't push. My goal is to have a warm, friendly discussion that will lead to other discussions. If he indicates an interest in learning more, I invite him to meet with a local Messianic pastor—who is far more of an Old Testament expert than I. A fellow Jew will be very sensitive to my friend's culture and feelings.
When it comes to sharing Christ with someone of the Jewish faith, I see myself as a qualifier, a filter, and I am free to turn over my friend to an expert. You should feel free as well to call upon a local Jewish pastor or other Jewish believer for help.
If I determine my friend does not attend synagogue and is what I call a “secular” Jew, then I take him through the same Scriptures about Christ found in my response to objection 2, “Cults are the answer?”
16. I'm not a sinner.
Sometimes when you are sharing the “Share Jesus Scriptures” and you turn to Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned … ,” your friend may respond by saying something like:
Friend: |
I haven't committed sins. I've never murdered, stolen, or done other dramatic things that are obviously sin. |
You: |
(Don't argue or try to explain sin. Instead, turn to Matthew 22:37.) Read this aloud. |
Friend: |
(Reading:) “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” |
You: |
Have you ever loved God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? |
Friend: |
No. |
You: |
That's what sin is. |
17. I'm not good enough.
This objection is a lot like “God cannot forgive me.” Yet my response is different. For example, when I hear this objection, the first thing I say is, “Why?” After I listen, I say, “That's one thing we have in common. We are not good enough. This is a problem. There are only two ways to get to heaven: either we have to be perfect, never once committing a sin in word, deed, or thought, or we have to become born again.
“I can become born again by accepting in my heart the finished work and person of Jesus Christ, who paid the penalty for my sins. He has the power to forgive me because of his birth, death, and resurrection. When I believe on him and accept his forgiveness, only then can he erase the sins I have committed in the past. Personally, I opt to choose his forgiveness because I can never be good enough to obtain perfection.”
Ephesians 2:8–9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
I love taking a person with this objection to Romans 10:9–10: “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
Next, I show my friend verse 13, which reads, “For, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’”
I ask, “Does that include you?”
Then I let the power of Scripture speak.
18. I'm not ready.
If your friend tells you she is not ready, ask, “Why?”
More than likely, her reason will sound silly and illogical, even to her. In this case say, “Are you really willing to let that stand between you and God?”
This may be all you need to say to take care of her objection. If she indicates she is now ready to invite Christ into her life, then lead her in prayer.
Then again, her objection may not be so easy to get rid of. For example, in response to your “Why not?” your friend may say something like, “I am not ready because this information is so new to me. This is a whole new way of thinking, and I want to count the cost.”
If you get this response, stop the presentation. Be prepared to release your friend to God's sovereignty and control. Say something like, “I enjoyed our time, and I will be praying for you. May I talk to you again in a few days or weeks?”
In this way, you've not put undue pressure on her, and you may gain permission to speak with her in the future. You do not want to harvest a false decision for Christ.
As you part, do not go away feeling like a failure. You may have planted the seed that by God's grace will sprout at a later time. In the meantime, keep your friend in your prayers and look for other opportunities to share with her again.
Be humbled and thankful you did not fail in your outreach with her. You were obedient to Christ, and as long as she has breath, there is hope she will someday be ready to make a decision for him.
19. I'm not sure I'm saved.
Sometimes you will meet someone who has genuinely asked Christ into his heart but feels he is not saved. When I meet someone like this, I point to his watch and say, “That's a very nice watch. If you lost it, you'd miss it when you wanted to see the time. But if you've never owned a watch, you wouldn't worry about looking at it, nor would you worry about losing it.
“Don't you find it interesting that you are worried you are not saved? You can't worry about losing something you don't have. I bet before you asked Christ into your life, you didn't go around worrying that Christ was not in your heart. It is a wonderful confirmation to me that you might be saved because you are concerned.
“Let's look at Romans 8:38–39: ‘For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’”
I ask, “What does this say to you?”
Then I turn to Ephesians 1:13–14 and have him read: “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.”
I say, “I just want you to know, my friend, the moment you invited Christ in your life, you were saved. God guarantees that one day you will be with him in heaven.
“The fears you have are also experienced by most Christians. But you must move past these fears so you can grow in your faith. You may find it helps to strengthen your faith by reading your Bible, praying, and spending time with other believers. Let me help you get started. May I pick you up for church next Sunday?”
20. I've always believed in God.
When I hear this, I like to say, “The devil believes in God, and in fact, he has even seen God. James 2:19 says, ‘You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.’”
I ask, “How are you any different? Would you like to receive Jesus as your Savior?”
21. I've done too many bad things.
See “I'm not good enough,” response 17, in this chapter.
22. I've tried it and it didn't work out.
The first thing I try to affirm is whether the person is saved or unsaved. I ask, “Tried what?”
After all, I don't know what he tried. Did he try walking down the aisle or singing a song? I want him to tell me.
He usually says something like, “I tried that prayer once, you know, the one where you invite Christ into your life. Nothing happened.”
I look him in the eye and say, “Apparently that is very true. Let me ask you a question. Did you mean the prayer when you said it?”
Sixty percent of the time, people will say, “Well, I think so,” yet they seem unsure.
Next I ask, “Tell me about that moment you gave your life to Christ.”
You may be surprised at how ridiculous their “testimonies” may seem. For example, I remember being with a pastor of a mainline denomination. Now you can't ask a pastor if he is saved, so I said, “Pastor, tell me, how did you first come to find a relationship with God?”
He said, “Son, I was driving down the road one day and heard birds chirping, and I knew then, I knew God.”
If that is a testimony that bears with his spirit, then something is wrong. In other words, does your friend have a testimony that bears witness to what Scripture teaches? If not, say, “Can you look into the face of God and tell him you are born again?”
If he says no, say, “Let's take a minute and review the Scriptures. Read them aloud, then tell me what they mean.” But if he says yes, ask permission to review the seven “Share Scriptures” then ask him the five “Commitment Questions” to help him have a better understanding of the gospel.
23. My beliefs are private.
The first question I ask is, “Why?”
The reason I ask is to find out what is below the surface. Then I can deal with whatever that objection is.
24. My friends will think I am crazy if I accept Jesus.
Again I apply the “Why Principle”: “Why will your friends think you are crazy?”
“They like to party and have fun. If I suddenly stop, they will think I've gone nuts.”
“Yes,” I say, “but let me ask you, if they are really your friends, won't they be happy and thrilled the God of the universe lives inside of you and all of your sins are forgiven?
“After all, when they see you change, they may want what you have.”
25. The argument never stops.
This is the person who argues and argues and argues. When I run into somebody like this, my first reaction is to pray, “Lord, he is just like I used to be. Help me love him, Lord, until he understands the gospel.”
Usually this type is filled with hostility. So I purposely avoid everything he wants to argue about. Instead, I have a tendency to ask questions like, “Why are you so angry? Why does the presentation of the gospel make you hostile?” Then I ask the key question: “If for some reason you found out everything I have said about the gospel and about Jesus is true, what would you do about it?”
If he tells me he will still not believe, I ask, “Why?” This may get me to his real objection, which I can deal with. But if in answer he says he is not ready or refuses to believe, I must remember it is OK to walk away from the presentation. But that does not mean I stop loving and praying for him. I watch for ways to speak to him someday in the future.
But if this person indicates he would be willing to believe if the gospel were true, I say, “That's wonderful, because I was the same way.” Then I give him a short testimony of my life, how I argued and didn't believe who Jesus claimed he was. I like to give my testimony because Scripture reminds us in Revelation 12:11, “‘They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.’”
People will come to Christ by the power of the gospel and our testimony.
Next, I look for a transition so I can open my Bible and show him the Scripture. I might say something like, “I was pretty open with you about my life. What was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to you?” “Do you have a fear?” “Are you afraid of death?” “Did your parents ever hurt you?” “Would accepting God's love scare you to death?” “Has anyone ever loved you?” or “Do you ever feel alone?”
What I am trying to do is get below the surface of his defense mechanism. Once he is willing to talk about those subjects he has hidden from view in his arguing personality, I am well on the way to getting permission from him to share the gospel.
If he doesn't accept the gospel, don't let it drive you crazy. What is so obvious to you now, at one time was not so obvious. The Bible you hold dear, probably at one time, had no meaning to you. Worship services, probably at one time, were boring. Going to church and praying, probably at one time, seemed like a dull way to spend your life. This is because, as Scripture reminds us in 1 Corinthians 2:14, “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.”
Once, when I was active in prison ministry, I met a brilliant detective from Pueblo, Colorado, who had arrested many of the prisoners I knew. He had a reputation for cracking the toughest cases. And he had an argumentative attitude.
One day when he was at the jail, I went over and introduced myself to him. “Jack, I wonder if you would be willing to have lunch with me? I'd like to bring some of the ex-offenders you've arrested. Are you afraid?”
“No way.”
“Good, then I'll bring my wife so you will know this is not a setup.”
At lunch, Bruce, a six-foot-six ex-con with tattoos from his nose to his toes and an arrest record six and a half feet long with raps like murder and kidnapping, shared his testimony with Jack. Later, when Jack answered a page back to police headquarters, we could hear him say, “You won't believe who I'm having lunch with. I'm telling you, a God-thing is going on here. I've never seen anything like it in my life.”
Though Jack did not accept Christ that day, I continue to share the gospel with him. I can see God is working, and I continue to pray for him on a daily basis. Whenever I begin to worry about him, I go out and find him again. I suppose I could quit out of frustration and stop loving and caring, but then I remember God did not quit on me.
So I pray, “Lord, until you say otherwise, I am going to look for every opportunity to take him to church, to lunch, and wait for an opportunity to see you change his life.”
It may be frustrating, but I feel this is part of my sanctification process, so I am grateful for the frustration.
26. The church only wants my money.
I respond, “Has the church ever asked you for money? It's true that most churches take an offering. But it is usually the members who are expected to give, not the visitors.
“You see, God doesn't want to take your money. When you become a believer, something happens to your heart. You give because you want to. If you don't give in joy, you shouldn't give at all.
“The church doesn't want to take your money; the church wants you to surrender your life to Jesus. Are you willing to do that?”
27. There are many paths to God.
When I hear this objection, I nod. “You are correct; all roads lead to God. But here's the problem: what are you going to say when you get there? For God is either going to meet you as your Savior or as your judge. For Scripture says, ‘That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father’” (Phil. 2:10–11).
28. There are many religions in the world.
Some people will say, “There are many religions in the world, and I don't know how a person can know the right one.” I reply, “I've discovered that all of the religions in the world can be divided into two groups. Imagine, every religion other than Christianity is in my left hand—Mormonism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, whatever ‘ism'—and Christianity is in my right hand. Everyone in my left hand makes two distinctive claims: (a) Jesus is not God, or he is not the only God. He may be a great prophet, teacher, or good man, but not the Messiah; and (b) If you do enough good works, such as good deeds, rid the world of infidels, or follow a special diet, you can receive some form of salvation.
“Two opposite claims cannot possibly be true. I would be willing to admit that if the ‘ism' pile is true, my faith would be in vain. Would you be willing to admit, if the Christianity in my right hand is true, that your faith is in vain? Let's examine the evidence so we can find out which one of us is possibly in error.
“Christianity claims that Jesus is God, that God has come to us in Jesus who lived, died on the cross, and rose from the grave that we might have eternal life. Christianity claims, ‘For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast’” (Eph. 2:8–9).
I ask, “Can both of these teachings be true? All of us have to make a decision to place our trust in one view or the other.” This turns a complicated argument into a simple answer.
29. There are many translations of the Bible.
In chapter 5, see “Too many translations” under “Objections to the Bible,” or see response 29 in appendix 3.
30. There are many errors in the Bible.
In chapter 5, see “Too many errors” under “Objections to the Bible,” or see response 30 in appendix 3.
31. There are too many hypocrites in the church.
To this objection I first say, “You are absolutely correct. There are hypocrites in every church. I'm so glad you are concerned about that, because when you join the perfect church, it won't be perfect any longer.
“Jesus said not to follow hypocrites but to follow him. I think it is exciting that you know the difference between a hypocrite and a genuine person. It will be fun to see you grow in your faith.”
Then I add, “Trust me, if you accept Christ as your Savior and I see you begin to act like a hypocrite, I will remind you of this conversation. Are you ready to pray?”
One of Linda's friends, Jan, recently told her, “I am concerned by all the TV Christians who want you to send them money in exchange for prayer and miracles. If that's what Christianity is, I don't want any part of it.”
Linda said, “Many TV Christians are genuine, but some are not. Think of it this way; if I falsely represented myself to you as a realtor in order to scam your money, does that mean all realtors are dishonest?”
“Of course not,” Jan said.
“Then just because a person says he represents Christ, that does not mean he is a representative of Christ. Only Christ knows his heart.”
Her friend nodded. “I hadn't thought of it that way before.”
Linda asked, “Are you going to let a dishonest person stand in the way of knowing God's love for you?”
Linda reports that as of this writing, Jan is still processing the gospel, but she at least no longer has this roadblock in her way.
32. What about my family?
In chapter 3, see fear 5, “I'm afraid of losing my friends and relatives,” or see response 32 in appendix 3.
33. What about those who never hear the gospel?
Linda had the opportunity to share the presentation with a longtime friend. He asked, “But what about those who never get a chance to hear the gospel?”
She said, “That's not you, is it?”
“No.”
“Perhaps the question is, what does the Bible say will happen to those who have heard and have not responded?”
Stuart replied, “They will go to hell.”
She said, “You've heard the gospel. Will you respond?”
He nodded. “Yes,” he said, and Linda joyfully watched him receive Christ as his Savior.
34. Why does God let bad things happen?
This objection can appear to be difficult to deal with, but you must trust the Holy Spirit. I remember doing a seminar in which I was speaking to about six hundred teens. All during the seminar, I noticed the reaction of a teen who sat off to the side of the church. At break, I headed straight for her like a homing pigeon. I said, “Hi, what's your name?”
“My name is Patty.”
“Are you a regular at this church?”
“No, I'm not.”
“Have you found the Lord Jesus Christ yet.”
She practically shouted, “No!”
I responded, “Why, Patty?”
In the next few minutes I became a part of a hysterical, painful reaction, the likes of which I have never experienced in all my years of ministry. Without taking a breath, Patty said, “What kind of God would allow my father to sexually abuse me from the time I was born to the time I was ten? What kind of God would let my stepfather take over from age ten to thirteen? What kind of God would let my minister violate me? What kind of God would let my only friends be burned alive in a terrible accident?”
I found myself backing up, physically as well as emotionally.
Then I thought of the example of Christ when he was confronted by the Pharisees with a difficult question. The Pharisees said, in John 8:4–5, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”
If Jesus said yes to stoning, he was condoning murder, and if he said no, he would break the Jewish law. These men thought they had trapped him at last. I learned much from Christ's response. First, he allowed the Pharisees to talk. When they finished, he turned the tables on them by asking them a question. In John 8:7 he said, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”
In essence, Jesus asked, “What about you? Are you sinless?”
I took Jesus' response and applied it to Patty. I gently asked, “Patty, who taught you to tell your first lie?”
She looked at me through her tears and said, “No one had to teach me to lie.”
“You are right, Patty. Remember the story about the garden of Adam and Eve? Before they disobeyed God, the garden was perfect. No one was molesting anyone. There was no evil because there was no sin. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin entered the world and into us. Now we live in a fallen world, and we are fallen in the world. That is why no one had to teach you to lie. It is built into your nature. It's built into all of our natures to be self-serving and selfish. It's part of the Adamic curse. But this does not answer your toughest question. Why didn't God stop those men from hurting you? Why didn't God protect your friends from the fire? I can answer the question for you if you give me permission. But you won't like it.”
“Go ahead.”
“My answer is I don't know, but I do know this: you can walk through the rest of your life alone in your pain, or you can choose to hold onto a nail-scarred hand.”
It was then that Patty knelt at the altar. After she prayed the sinner's prayer, she continued, “God, if you will forgive all of those men who violated me, I will make you a promise. I promise that one day I will forgive them also.”
Wow! The beauty of Patty's prayer is that it was wrought through the power of the Holy Spirit. He is our power source. Through him, we can face this difficult question with an honest answer.
35. You can't possibly know what truth is.
It is a terrible tragedy that our culture has taught us to believe there are no absolutes, no right or wrong, and no truth. I have handled this objection in several ways. Sometimes, I merely ask, “Why?” and listen to someone flounder, trying to respond.
Yet, sometimes, with a gleam in my eye, I ask to borrow her watch. When she hands it to me, I put it into my pocket. Next, I talk about anything, except the fact that I have her watch in my pocket. In a while, she gets a little nervous and asks, “May I have my watch back?”
I say, “No, my truth is taking watches from people who don't believe in truth.”
Finally, I reach in my pocket and pull out the watch and hand it back. I say, “You just told me there are no rights or wrongs. How can it be wrong if I steal your watch?”
When she can't answer me, I say, “See, you cannot hide behind that statement. May I show you some verses of Scripture that have had a major impact on my life?”
One day, I was standing in a restaurant when an old friend from my past said, “Hi, Bill. I thought I recognized you. I heard about all the changes in your life, and I wanted you to know that I'm spiritual too.”
The word spiritual is a red flag to me; it usually means New Age.
I asked my friend if she had time for a cup of coffee. We sat down, and I asked, “Does truth matter to you?”
“You cannot know what truth is.”
I looked across the table and said, “Then I am sure you'd have no problem whatsoever if I raped you.”
She looked stunned. Her lower lip started to tremble.
I asked, “What's wrong?”
“Someone did that to me once.”
I looked her right in the eye and asked, “Why was it wrong?”
Because of her horrible philosophy, she shook for five long minutes. She couldn't even tell me why the ultimate violation against a woman was wrong. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer and said, “Let me tell you why it's wrong; it's wrong because God said so.”
A few days later she called. “I've been thinking about what you said. Is it possible I could meet the God you are talking about?”
I'm happy to report she met the God of absolutes and truth. His name is Jesus Christ.
36. You must think you're better than me.
I like to say, “First of all, I am not better than anyone else; I am simply better off. Like everyone, I had broken God's commandments and laws and was condemned to hell. But by his grace and unfailing love, God sent someone into my life to tell me about Jesus. That made me realize how dirty I was in the presence of a holy God. I asked God to forgive me, and he did. It doesn't make me better than you; it makes me forgiven. Now I am giving you the same opportunity someone gave me.”
Review
Let's review the way to handle an objection:
You: |
Are you ready to invite Jesus Christ into your life? |
Friend: |
No. |
You: |
Why? |
Friend: |
I'm not ready. |
You: |
Why? |
The response your friend gives will better equip you to answer his objection. For a quick review of the preceding objections and their responses, see appendix 3.